I just want to throw up......

Because it looks like we've lost yet ANOTHER week!! Another week!! No one has any idea when our file will be released. No answer from the agency about what they found out today. No one answered the phone when Alan called.

I feel so far away from Sydney that it makes my heart ache. I feel so disconnected. I feel like I will never get her home. My mind just can't comprehend what is going on and I can feel my heart hardening again! We were told on July 31 that she should be home in about 6 weeks. We anticipated that it would be around THIS WEEK that she'd finally come home.....for the best 35th birthday gift a girl could ever ask for.

But no, nothing. This was not the way I was supposed to spend my birthday. I just want to sleep till pick up.......I want my life back. I am so tired of being bitter. So tired of not being able to congratulate all those who aren't stuck in hell waiting to get their kid home!! Can't get happy for those people because they are flying past me and still bringing home babies no matter how much I beg my people to help us. The answer is always, THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

I don't even want to talk about it any more. I am sick of seeing the faces that say, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY." or "I AM SO SORRY." or "SHE'LL BE HOME SOON." I have tried so hard to be optimistic but I have nothing left. So, until we hear that she's coming home and we have a date for that, I will just be hurt and sad. What an unfortunate turn to who I used to be.