Can't stop the tears tonight -

Sydney will be 18 months old tomorrow and Guatemala continues to hold her hostage while they try to sort their mess.

My daughter continues to call another woman Momma while my heart aches for her to come home.

My daughter does NOT know me or her Daddy because she is being used as a pawn in a power struggle.

My daughter does not know her brothers because people are NOT doing their jobs now and didn't do their jobs in the past.

My daughter is being denied her forever family and my family is being denied my daughter.

My heart is aching to hold her; to love her; to pick her up when she falls; to kiss her boo-boos; to wipe her tears; to teach her English.

Sydney, I love you sweet girl!! Please don't ever think that we wanted this to take so long. We have fought so hard to get you home with us and have been stuck while people fought amongst themselves. They don't realize how they are affecting the little ones caught in the middle. I long for you to be home. To celebrate you and each passing day with you. I want to be the first face that you see in the morning and the last face you see at night. I want you to hold me and love on me as I hold and love on you. I want help you learn and grow. I want my life back, with you in it. I want my faith back. I want my heart to stop breaking. I want the tears to be tears of joy instead of the tears of frustration and anger!! I want to be able to praise God again. Right now my faith is so weak and my prayers feel so small and scripted.

Sydney, Mommy loves you very very much and I will fight until the very end to bring you home. I pray that I see you again soon and never have to let you go.

Sydney, my daughter, my dream.......(thanks Leigh, I never realized how these words would ever apply to me).